We have a blueberry bush that sits on our back porch. It lives in a green pot. It isn’t very big, though I don’t blame the plant for that.
We’ve had it for the last four years, and it’s stayed with us as we’ve moved from our previous rental to our new home. Each spring we talk about the best place to finally put it in the ground. For varying reasons that change with the calendar, we’ve yet to actually get the job done.
So there it sits.
Each summer it gives us more than a few handfuls of delicious fruit, but it’s not living up to its full potential.
Sometimes I feel like we’re a bit like that blueberry bush.
Stay or Go
Though we bought our house in early 2017, this was never going to be the place we lived forever. We knew that going in, and that hasn’t changed.
We thought it would help us to feel more settled than we were. Previously we had been renting a home, and the decision to stay or go was never farther than a lease-renewal reminder away.
Deciding to stay was always easier, but it meant delaying the inevitable. The decision to go was more difficult, as it presented us with another decision.
We would have to decide what leave meant. Does that mean we find a new place down the street, or do we leave our jobs and start over somewhere completely new?
In 2017 we weren’t ready to head off somewhere new. We liked the market we were in and we liked our jobs. We felt like we were in a place that optimized our path to financial independence.
At the time, our net worth was still negative, but we knew that was temporary. We felt that the market we were in was likely the best option to optimize our path to financial independence.
Deciding to Stay – For Now
So, ultimately we decided for a short-to-medium term commitment to the area. That was followed up by a decision that we wanted a place to truly call home. Our home.
And we found it. Now that we’re two years in, I must say it’s been just about everything we could have hoped for. We still love the place we call home. Still, though, it’s not perfect.
It’s not perfect because we’re not where we want to eventually be.
I’m reminded of that every time I see that blueberry bush.
That plant has a home, but it’s not where it’s supposed to be. In order to reach its full potential, it needs to be put in the ground so its roots can grow wider and deeper than its current arrangement allows.
Likewise, we have a home, and it’s one we’re more than satisfied with. We know, though, it’s not where we’ll be ten years from now. This is not the place we will live when our kids graduate high school.
So now – even though we’re in a home that’s ours – it still feels like we’re caught in a temporary arrangement. Like that poor bush, I can’t help but feel like we’re limiting our potential here since we know we’ll uproot at some point.
It’s not that there would be anything wrong with staying here for a lifetime. We’re happy here. It’s just that our life wouldn’t be as fulfilled if we stay.
Family is Calling Us ‘Home’
We’re a thousand miles from our nearest family member.
To some, this wouldn’t be an issue. It might even be ideal.
But we want something different. We want our kids to not have to wait for semi-annual trips where the bulk of a day is spent in the airport and/or the car just to give Grandma and Grandpa a hug.
We know what we’ll eventually have to do. We’re left with the constant struggle of deciding when to follow through.
We’re closer than ever to paying off the last of our student loan debt. Hopefully, by the end of the year, that monthly $3,957 payment (that we’ve been shoveling $9k/month toward) will cease to exist.
When it does, things will get easier. When our youngest is old enough to start school and the mortgage-sized daycare expense is no longer weighing us down, things will get even easier.
It’s landmarks like these down the road that we’re thinking about. At which one of these points will it be time to make the ultimate decision to move closer to family?
Maybe it’s before any of them. Maybe it’s after. Either way, the only remaining decision to make is not deciding if we go, only when.
Before or After Securing Financial Freedom
On this path of pursuing financial independence, we’re struggling to decide whether we can really make the decision to leave before we’ve reached it.
Can we really leave this market and these high paying jobs before we have enough to be financially independent? If we do, it will mean having to work after we leave. The unintended consequence of that is where exactly we end up will be influenced, if not dictated by the next set of jobs.
If we reach FI before moving, we can decide exactly where we end up based solely on where we want to live. Independent of the question of whether or not we decide to continue to work, the decision where can ultimately be determined by where we want to live.
So we’re left to discuss. Thankfully we’ve never really been a couple that fights about money. I don’t take that for granted. However, the thing related to finances that we do talk about – often – are the circumstances surrounding the big question of when.
When are we going to be ok to break free from these golden handcuffs and start putting these other things first?
Are we going to be ok if we decide to leave before we’ve reached our ‘number?’ Are we going to be ok if we decide to wait?
We’re still working on finding the answers.
Who knows, by the time we decide, we might have found a spot to get that blueberry bush placed in the ground.
Then again, it might just make one more move with us.